So, I finished my access course. I have provisionally passed the course, I needed 48 credits at "Level 3" (A level equivalents) and I got 51. Plus I got my maths and science GCSEs. It was tough. We did 10 subjects all together - 8 A level equivalents and two GSCEs in a 4 day week in under a year. So tough in fact, that they've decided to drop the minimum credits to 45. Anyway, it's done now. It's still touch and go. We all had to keep our work in a portfolio for the internal moderator. If there's anything wrong with the portfolio that's it, you fail. Which is kinda harsh. Heh, of course if it wasn't for the fact that I know mine isn't excatly 100% even though I have passed everything, I would be a bit more upbeat about it. As it is I am still nervous. But it's up to them now.

Leaving meant saying goodbye to someone, which was extremely sad for me. I have gone from feeling distraught to numb to feeling like it was getting better back to bitterly missing them again. But with any luck the time will heal that wound. The memories hurt right now but one day I will be able to treasure them with no regret or sorrow. I am glad for that. I'm also glad that I managed to make my peace with almost everyone that I fell out with towards the end of the year. Everyone except for one person. My heart simply isn't big enough for that. Lastly, am I glad I will never have to see a certain person on the course ever again! Naw, she's not a bad person by any stretch, just very challenging.

It's been a year of joy and pain and all points in between but I am glad I did it. Still, no time to rest. I still have to go back on Monday and Tuesday and I'll be at school until they break up. After that we'll see. If I officially pass then I have to prepare for University and find a proper job that pays money. If I haven't officially passed then I have some thinking to do. Whatever happens, it was an experience alright. One I won't forget in a hurry. If I had my time again I would have done one or two things differently but most of it I wouldn't change. So that can't be bad, eh?